As most of you might not know about me (which is a horrible grammer crutch, because, quite frankly, I’d have to assume that 90% of my 3-4 readers haven’t even heard of me), I’m an on-again/off-again fan of professional wrestling. (WWE)
The two WWE shows, Raw and Smackdown, are essentially the best soaps on tv at the moment. Any (and all, really) conflict that arise from the story arc can be resolved in 1 week – 3 months tops, by violence — and you only get ‘em twice a week, which means you won’t have to struggle to get home on time every weeknight. Plus, well, they have replays!
Just this Sunday, WWE celebrated it’s 25th-Anniversary of the Wrestlemania, an annual tie-up-all-the-loose-plot-threads wrestling extravaganza. Your brother/cousin/uncle/father already have their opinion on which Wrestlemania was the “best-ever,” and if they didn’t, they must’ve been preoccupied with other sports on tv — the kind where your average everyday WWE chest-slap/suplex/DDTs/etc are a basis for foul play.
Did I like the latest one? There were parts that I liked, and, well, I’ll just rank ‘em, per match.
* Money in the Bank Ladder Match – 3.5/5
This was awesome! Although the ladder construction part sorta shows you that they’ve been practicing. Also, me and my cousin have a sneaking suspicion that it should’ve been MVP who won this, but alas, that bad fall must’ve made ‘em consider the contingency.
* 25-Diva Battle Royale – .5/5
Fiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
* Chris Jericho vs. The Legends – 1/5
Mickey Rourke in this match was just too much. How long has it been since The Wrestler, even? It just felt like they dragged this on for too long. I held my pee for this one — now WWE owes me minutes of kidney damage for holding it in.
* Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy – 3.5/5
I really thought this match would be a bit more … hardcore(?). For this one, check out the parts where Jeff was making a sandwich out of Matt and two tables. Also, the 20-foot ladder-leapfrog.
* Rey Mysterio vs. JBL – 2.75/5
Alright, the full 2.75/5 points go to Mysterio’s “Joker” outfit, check it! Also, if you saw the match, then you’d know there’s not much else… here’s a video, set to the Benny Hill theme, only because this is the only vid I can find:
* Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker – 4.75/5
Because this should’ve been the main event! This one was the toughest to call — did HBK break the streak? Did Undertake score 17-0? Either outcome would’ve been possible.
* Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena – 3.5/5
Cena’s entrance is a must-see! I expected ‘em (the Cena “props”) to jump into the ring, should Big Show and Edge start helping each other out.
* Triple H vs. Randy Orton – 3.5/5
This was a surprisingly straightforward match — which was a blast to see! I’m tired of Orton talking it up, and then have Legacy save his ass later on. This was the part where me and my cousin were thinking “Batista” — but he’d return to Raw a day later, which also makes the next event worth looking forward to…
***
Also, Stonecold’s last beer salute to fans? Fantastic.
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