Posts tagged ninja assassin
Ninja Assassin: A Dam of CG Blood
Nov 25th
Ninja Assassin — About the only other time I’ve seen that much CG blood is when I play any of my favorite video games.

Which is, to say, there’s a lot of the stuff in the movie. That, plus, if it helps, the blood in this movie is vibrant red — even in the dark. It’s not even the “it-drips-and-looks-sticky” Kill Bill type of blood, it’s full-on-it-splatters-the-most-where-its-cut-and-stains-the-floor-but-hardly-looks-slippery CG blood.
Ninja Assassin is the tale of a ninja named Raizo (Rain), taking revenge on the Ozunu clan, the very ninja clan that raised him and taught him the ways of the ninja. That’s basically it. A to B.
There’s also this thing about him relocating to Berlin, gettling tangled with Europol, German troops versus ninjas finale etc etc etc. Not that anybody talked in German, or, other than the sign on the parking lot that said “AUSFAHRT,” any indicator that they were indeed in Berlin goes out the window. He could have very well been hiding out in Manila, and it probably wouldn’t make any difference.
The movie works when there are ninjas on-screen or when there are body parts flying about — but the talking parts? I get confused — why would a ninja need help from an intelligence agency? The only logical thing would’ve been to tag another ninja to help along, so why get an intelligence agency researcher? Just because she believes in “ninjas”? (A line by Maslow, “ninjas?! in this day and age?”)
Also, in the confrontations between the ninjas and the German military troops — the army guys ALL die in the scene where Raizo was captured, but they bloody well dominated the finale — and the agents helping Raizo, Mika (Naomie Harris) and Maslow (Ben Miles) seem to be protected by plot armor. No matter how many shurikens slice and dice their allies, they seem to always manage to get away, unscathed.
The nice thing about the movie is how they eventually build-up the image of the ninja. They are urban legend material — they are more than human, at least until some get shot down and some get hit by cars. You’d think with extraordinary ninja sensory acuity, Raizo would’ve heard the ambush, or maybe during that terrifying slice-and-dice chase on the road, they’d have heard a car screeching nearby and jump out of harm’s way, right?
The film is done in a way where it’s stylized, but not quite? Raizo’s kusarigama (the chained sickle weapon) chains slow down every so often and leave motion trails, then speeds up ’til it hits the intended target. Shurikens leave those shiny silver trails to let you know some went this way, some went the other way. Amputated body parts are neatly cut. A washer stuffed with body parts jumps about and protests its heavy load, then slowly lets out blood just as the laundromat’s manager looks on in horror.
Also, in terms of the ninja-drama — I don’t know if the film was trying to be ironic, but they threw every trope in the book. A nemesis that calls him “little brother,” the final fight-to-the-death with the master, flashbacks, a tragic incident involving a love interest, etc. THOSE parts had me laughing.
All in all — it works when limbs are a-flying, but it lacks a certain … umami to truly make it even more entertaining. And, well, sorry Rain, but the best ninja-related thing I’ve seen this week is still Turtles Forever.
3/5
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Also, the girls in the theater must’ve been seeing a different movie — they covered their eyes when sharp metal objects and CG blood are on-screen, then they collectively swoon when Raizo’s around. :p
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A super-special thanks to TV5 / 5MAX Movies and Myk for the invite! Woohoo!
TV5 5MAX Movies for November
Nov 22nd
TV5′s 5MAX Movies offers special screening of 2012, Ninja Assassin and more blockbuster movies
Another ‘Friday the 13th’ is coming this weekend, which is believed to mean ‘bad luck’. But on TV5, all loyal viewers are lucky because the channel just can’t get enough of offering blockbuster movies both in your living rooms and on the big screen as it gives to its viewers the special screening of the most-awaited upcoming movies 2012 and Ninja Assassin this November, as well as thriller and comedy movies Thirteen Ghosts, The Crew, and Liar Liar this weekend on 5MAX Movies.
Aptly showing on Friday (November 13), Thirteen Ghosts is the remake of the 1960 film of the same name, following the horror story of a very rich collector of unique things who leaves all his possessions to his family, including his malicious collection of ghosts.
Four retired mobsters plan one last crime to save their retirement home on Saturday (November 14) in the action-comedy movie The Crew, starring Burt Reynolds, Richard Dreyfuss, Dan Hedaya, Seymour Cassel, and Carrie-Ann Moss
Jim Carrey stars as a fast track lawyer who can’t lie for 24 hours due to his son’s birthday wish in the award-winning and Golden Globe nominee movie, Liar Liar, showing on Sunday (November 15).
With the Mayan calendar ending in 2012, a large group of people must deal with natural disasters such as volcanic eruptions, typhoons and glaciers in the drama thriller film 2012, showing this Friday (November 13) at Glorietta 4 Cinema 1 at 7:30pm, to be attended by the lucky winners of 2012 promo winners who won by simply texting “5MAX ON” and “5MAX<space>Name” to 2256.
For those who missed the 2012 5MAX Movies texting promo, you can still join the online contest for winning VIP passes for the special screening of the upcoming martial arts film Ninja Assassin, starring Korean pop artist, Rain. Interested contestants will simply have to tune in to TV5 and watch out for the question to be flashed onscreen and log on to TV5 website to answer the promo question.
Winners will get to win two VIP tickets to the Ninja Assassin special screening, as well as a chance to take home Ninja Assassin premium items during the movie screening on November 24, 7:30pm at Glorietta 4 Cinema 2.
Keep on texting 5MAX ON to 2256 to join and experience all these great and exciting promos offered only by TV5, and enjoy watching all the best blockbusters every evening at 9pm on 5MAX Movies.

























ramblings.