coned crack.

I want this.  Or mebbe the October-only Trick-or-Treat special:

But it’s not the same without YOU. :p  It’s silly — the older I get, the more significant ice cream becomes.

food fetish: windows 7 burgz.

Linked to me by Mikko — Microsoft is promoting its new operating system in Japan by tying up with Burger King for the Windows 7 Whopper.

From that same plurk thread, Mikko’s friend Bry says:

“they get a Nana Mizuki voiced Windows 7-tan and now this. What do we get? a freaking SM North launch event.”

Which pretty much sums up what a sad world we live in.  :(

[More info at Electronista]

[10242009 UPDATE!  From alafista: a video of someone ACTUALLY eating the Windows 7 burgz:]

food fetish: burgz.

As mentioned in the last food fetish post: One day, when they ask me about my hobbies, it will include “burgers.” Or “burgz.”

Here are pictures from Monday’s Burger King dinner: burgz.

Burger Shots meal:

Php 99 – 2 Burger Shots, 1 Fries, 1 Coke

Php 297 – 6 Burger Shots, 3 Fries, 3 Cokes

Both me and Mikko got the 6-burger meal EACH.  To quote Mikko, “never again. <(*A* )>“  )

food fetish: burger king burger shots!

Managed to try the Mushroom Swiss kind last night — and those little tiny burgers?  They pack a punch.  Photos to follow when I get nets at home.  Meanwhile, here’s an image from @burgerkingph:

One day, when they ask me about my hobbies, it will include “burgers.”  Or “burgz.”

[Update! Read caption from this twitpic. ]

food fetish: heart attack grill.

Gab posted this motivational poster on my Facebook yesterday:

Yes I did enjoy this image quite a bit — also, it originates from The Heart Attack Grill — the very same one I posted about in the first food fetish post.

What exactly is the Heart Attack Grill?  From the official site:

The Heart Attack Grill^® is a hospital themed restaurant in Chandler Arizona, which has become internationally famous for embracing and promoting an unhealthy diet of incredibly large hamburgers. Customers are referred to as “patients,” orders as “prescriptions,” and the waitresses as “nurses.”

The menu includes the Single Bypass Burger^®, Double Bypass Burger^®, Triple Bypass Burger^®, and the Quadruple Bypass Burger^®, ranging from half a pound to two pounds of beef. Also on the menu are “Flatliner Fries” (cooked in pure lard), no filter cigarettes, hard liquor, beer, and full sugar coke.

The menu names imply coronary artery bypass surgery, and refer to the danger of developing atherosclerosis from the food’s high proportion of saturated fat and excessive caloric content. The Quadruple Bypass Burger^® has been quoted at around 8,000 calories!

One of the restaurants most celebrated (and widely publicized) gimmicks is the free wheelchair service provided to those “patients” who successfully finish the Quadruple Bypass Burger^®. Amidst a flurry of photography from tourist bystanders the “patients” are pushed in a wheelchair out to their cars by the nurse of their choice.

Founded in December of 2005 by Dr. Jon, a non AMA recognized physician. He has been glorified as the freedom fighting arch enemy of political correctness by some, and demonized as a charlatan “nutritional pornographer” by others, Dr. Jon can be found each day, at the griddle, actually flipping hamburgers in his white doctor’s lab coat and stethoscope.

The restaurant has found itself in a continual state of self defense against various activist groups and branches of state government. Most notable was a very public threat closure from the Arizona Attorney General’s in late 2006.

The controversy hit a crescendo when Dr. Jon was arrested after having attempted to open a live fire hose on a group of picketing nurses. Rush Limbaugh, Geraldo Rivera, and major networks from over sixty countries went live with the story, in a non-stop media frenzy that lasted for months on end.

A compromise was finally reached when Dr. Jon put a disclaimer on his website stating, “The use of the word ‘nurse’ above is only intended as a parody. None of the women pictured on our website actually have any medical training, nor do they attempt to provide any real medical services. It should be made clear that the Heart Attack Grill^® and all its employees do not offer any therapeutic treatments”.

Despite the obvious animosity between the Heart Attack Grill^®, and various Nursing Associations, Dr. Jon has always taken time in each and every television interview to point out that we are absolutely in the midst of a severe global nurse shortage. “It’s a real crisis!” says Dr. Jon, “Each one of us has a duty to help. I view my part is to draw attention to the problem by playing the role of the villain”.

One may question whether Dr. Jon’s kind words are sincere, considering the underlying motive that everyone can plainly see… money! No matter which side of the debate the general public finds itself, one thing is certain, upon visiting Arizona they all seem to make the pilgrimage for a burger and fries at what is perhaps the worlds most politically incorrect restaurant!

The future of the restaurant, according to Dr. Jon, lies in its ability to successfully transition into a diet center. With sights set firmly upon competing head to head with established weight loss giants such as Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, and Weight Watchers, he pays little attention to nay saying critics.

According to Dr. Jon, “The new Heart Attack Grill^® Diet Centers will offer the American public something that no other program has ever been able to do… a diet program that you actually enjoy and can stick with for a lifetime!” He did though conveniently fail to mention just how long the “lifetime” of the clients might be.

Dr. Jon’s most recent fitness book, the Heart Attack Grill^® Diet, which teaches readers how to “Eat, Drink, and Smoke their way to Better Health”, has not been well received due to its actual advocating of cigarettes, hard liquor, and maintaining company with girls of a barely legal age.

Here’s a couple more pictures from their media page, photos courtesy of Wayne Parham Photography:

And here’s a video about it:

So maybe that motivational poster did work, in a sense — I might print it out and use it as inspiration to work hard — so I could eat a QUADRUPLE BYPASS BURGER.

food fetish.

Imagine clutching your favorite burger with your two hands, telling yourself, “Jeebus, I can’t finish this,” while sinking in bite-after-bite through layers of bun, patty (maybe 2 or 3 or 7), some pickles, tomatoes, onions, cheeses and the various kinks that your favorite burger possesses — how can that not be good for the soul?!

For the past week, I’ve been looking up pimp’d out food — the kind that I can maybe dream about or replicate here at home.  I mean, who doesn’t?  Here are a coupla interesting finds:

Meat Baby – This is where the weird-food-fetish week started.  Is it wrong of me to maybe want to eat a meat baby?  With his ground pork skin and bacon diapers?  I’m thinking of inventing maybe a Pastry Baby.

[From ThisIsWhyYoureFat]

Heart Attack Grill – I’d really really really like to have lunch here one day.  People over 350 lbs. eat for free!  Also, did I mention that these bypass burgers are served by waitresses in kinky-nurse outfits?  :p

[From Heart Attack Grill]

“Three Little Pigs” Sandwich – This is the new “thing that I want in my life.”  As featured in No Reservations, The Silver Palm restaurant house specialty: the “Three Little Pigs” sandwich — smoked ham, breaded pork cutlets, 2 strips of bacon and 2 fried eggs, coated with gruyere on a brioche bun. — to quote Bourdain: “…this is evil in the best possible way.”

I was thinking crispy pata, liempo and lechon for the Filipino version. 

Also, a three-chicken version?  I’d love that.

[From Ven]

Häagen-Dazs® All-You-Can – The image above prolly explains it already.  I’ve yet to confirm the date range for this — and this is one of those times when I really dislike not being in Ortigas.  LOL

[From Philippine Dining]

What about you, dear reader?  I’m guessing you probably know something I don’t.  Don’t hold back — know of any good eats — of the excessive, over-the-top, burst-your-gut, forget-your-name kind?

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