Like many of you, while looking forward to the latest Uncharted game, I was thinking fondly of the great moments from the last one. After all, the Uncharted games are the best Hollywood blockbusters you could play — remember Urban Warfare? How great was that level? The “run ‘n gun” sequence was only done for that part (I think) and it was memorable for its scarcity. How about Locomotion? It was exciting and challenging and breathtaking and wonderful and kind of repetitive-in-a-way-you-don’t-mind-because-the-level-is-gorgeous-and-completing-it-will-allow-you-to-see-the-next-cutscene. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out the link above.)

Trying to remember parts of that Hollywood blockbuster, I tend to forget the truth that there were parts that the movie could have done without.

I think the Kotaku article Overstaying Its Welcome: The Place of Uncharted 3 in the Medium articulates best what I mean: Uncharted 3 put more were it could have done with less.

Near the end, it became less puzzle/adventure/shooter more survive-the-same-firefight-by-memorizing-where-the-enemies-will-come-from. I ended up quitting the game a few times and coming back at a later time, out of frustration. Also, did I mention that it takes a bit longer to aim / aiming is worse than the last game? (Naughty Dog responds to Uncharted 3 aiming concerns)

More more more. More firefights, more hand-to-hand combat, more chases and more grabbing-the-ledge-at-the-last-moment-slipping-and-catching-another-part-of-the-ledge. (SPOILER: he *always* makes it)

Let’s break that down:

• More firefights! – Surviving isn’t an ordeal when after your nth attempt, you’ve already memorized where the enemies will be coming from.
• More hand-to-hand combat! – They emphasized that the hand-to-hand combat has been improved this time around. Here are my issues with that: 1.) it’s the same motion over and over again 2.) it’s useless when you’re in a firefight and snipers and grenade-launcher dudes and machine gun dudes are taking away the colors from your screen 3.) Arkham City’s freeflow combat has spoiled me.
• More chases! – Remember when I mentioned the “Run ‘n Gun” part of Urban Warfare from Uncharted 2 above? You get chased by _____ twice, with the same “unseen obstacles” angle. (Insert “spiders,” “flood,” and “water.”)
• More ledge-grabbing! – Drake always makes it. The effect is lessened because *every* almost-fall will have a ledge. Drake will grab onto that ledge. Always. I’ll be more surprised if he goes through a level and nothing big happens. Or if he just slips and spends the following weeks recovering.
• More murder! – No one acknowledges that Drake is a mass murderer. I read somewhere that Naughty Dog was going to adjust it to “breaking a few necks along the way to get treasure/ Drake’s the everyman etc,” but instead, we get a lot of shooting the same bad guys over and over again.
• More treasure! – Well … not really. Which would probably make Drake a horrible mass-murdering non-treasure hunter.

It sucks.

I watched it in 3D — while it’s nice that we get to see “3D” (stuff-in-front-of-stuff) legs in this one, it is also worth pointing out that 3D legs do not a good Transformers movie make. (and by the middle to the end, you barely even notice that it’s in 3D — other than the occasional debris flying towards you.)

Four years and three Transformers movies later, and I’m still looking for the “good” one. Transformers made me grateful — that Michael Bay made us all believe that robots could be “real.” Transformers Revenge of the Fallen was more or less the same thing — with more plot holes. This time around, though better-shot/cinematography-ed, the movie ultimately fails for falling short.

Explosions, lady parts, more robots and explosions — they just don’t cut it anymore.

If I wanted to see a movie about humans whining, shouting, being ridiculous/stupid and dying, I would see any other movie. If I wanted to see a movie about giant robots that turn into vehicles, Transformers Dark of the Moon simply isn’t it. With a longer running time of 2 hours and 40 minutes, the lack of robot screen time is even more eye-stabbingly obvious.

Dammit, I wanted to see two sides of a robot race duking it out, with humanity as hostage/collateral — not the center of the plot — not the ewoks that destroy the empire.

What it eventually ends up achieving (and to use a tired expression) is making us think that there’s no way to go but up. Future Transformers movies should be better.

The toys don’t even seem accurate to the movie robots, and yeah, maybe I should just regress to state of play with them, create make-believe stories of how the movie could have been so much better.

It works better as a trailer.

1.5/5

Things:

• Pinoy ako. The 3D glasses kept slipping because my nose doesn’t have that part that holds it up lol.
• Q/Almost-Wheeljack’s face? Freaky.

Desire is creation energy.  Even out of spite.  Some of the world’s greatest innovations surely must’ve originated from some genius trying to get it on with a girl.  At least this is one thing you’ll pick up from The Social Network.  A tale of getting more, and finding out how more sometimes isn’t enough.  Wait, is that desire or greed?

In front: Jesse Eisenberg delivers a performance not seen since — well, Zombieland.  Although this time around, the awkward/”I’m-eating-my-words-to-force-you-to-listen-to-me” is augmented with the “follow-me-or-die-poor/I’ll-show-you-all” depiction of Mark Zuckerberg in the film, and it works.  His performance defines the movie, much in the same way that the person he’s based on has defined how, even from under the covers we are defining social structures with laptops in hand.  Andrew Garfield as Eduardo Saverin is also something to take note of — he’s trying his best to do the right thing, but ultimately falls short of his friend’s vision.  Or desire.  Or greed.  Also — J.T. — oh, when he acts, he should act in more roles like this: slick, seductive and just a hint of darkness — like that snake in that tree in that one origin story.

While everyone fills their status updates with quotes from the movie, I will say: Brenda Song is hawt when she’s playing loopy and, Rashida Jones is, and always will be, adorable.

From behind: the slick direction from David Fincher helps turn this “computer-guys-making-something-that-made-it-big” story into a truly engrossing drama.  The quotable lines of dialogue, courtesy of Aaron Sorkin.  Told in-between two big depositions, one involving the Winklevoss twins and one with Saverin disputing over who came up with what, and who is owed what.

What makes it ultimately relatable is how recent these events are.  (Though told in hyperbole.)  While at times it would seem that these underdogs are “trying too hard to be assholes,” the direction and the dialogue make us sympathetic to their plight: desire.  Or greed.  Whichever one of it that was.  It is also the little touches, such as the question, “why is your relationship status set to single?!” which adds a little humor and realism to the idea that social networks mirror our real-world, actual lives — and how things truly are like this in the present.

It also asks questions about genuises: where do their loyalties lie?  Is it where the money is, or is it where their friends are?

See it, because it is brilliant, and not because you’re friends-of-friends with the friends of people who told you that you should see it.

Oh, hey, I made it through without even saying the word, “Facebook’!

Oops.  Truly the f-word of the 2010s.

(The sneak preview ended yesterday, and the regular screening will be on the 27th.)

Relish, a new posh restaurant recently opened across the street from where I used to work.  Relish is a gem located at the ground floor of Ponte Salcedo, situated in the ever-awake Valero St. in Makati City.  If you come in at a Wednesday, Friday or Saturday, finding the place is easy — you could listen in for Moise, the brilliant one-man, mixed-genre musician who provides soothing “are-you-sure-it’s-not-a-CD?” tunes while people eat.

The atmosphere is conducive to comfort, which in turn is conducive to comfortable eating.  It also helps that there are a lot of greens, which is both relaxing to the eye and at the same time, my favorite color.  A glance on the menu will give you a glimpse that the food adheres to the theme of “what-you-want-in-your-tummy.”

I ordered the chimichuri chicken kebab — which combines my love for chicken, and, well, kebabs.  It was delicious.  I ran out of things to say, so here are some pictures:

Pricing is very reasonable.  My only thing with Relish would be: why wasn’t it open when I was working across the street?

Do check it out, it’s at: G/F 120 Ponte Salcedo, Valero St. Makati City

Ninja Assassin — About the only other time I’ve seen that much CG blood is when I play any of my favorite video games.

Which is, to say, there’s a lot of the stuff in the movie.  That, plus, if it helps, the blood in this movie is vibrant red — even in the dark.  It’s not even the “it-drips-and-looks-sticky” Kill Bill type of blood, it’s full-on-it-splatters-the-most-where-its-cut-and-stains-the-floor-but-hardly-looks-slippery CG blood.

Ninja Assassin is the tale of a ninja named Raizo (Rain), taking revenge on the Ozunu clan, the very ninja clan that raised him and taught him the ways of the ninja.  That’s basically it.  A to B.

There’s also this thing about him relocating to Berlin, gettling tangled with Europol, German troops versus ninjas finale etc etc etc.  Not that anybody talked in German, or, other than the sign on the parking lot that said “AUSFAHRT,” any indicator that they were indeed in Berlin goes out the window.  He could have very well been hiding out in Manila, and it probably wouldn’t make any difference.

The movie works when there are ninjas on-screen or when there are body parts flying about — but the talking parts?  I get confused — why would a ninja need help from an intelligence agency?  The only logical thing would’ve been to tag another ninja to help along, so why get an intelligence agency researcher?  Just because she believes in “ninjas”?  (A line by Maslow, “ninjas?! in this day and age?”)

Also, in the confrontations between the ninjas and the German military troops — the army guys ALL die in the scene where Raizo was captured, but they bloody well dominated the finale — and the agents helping Raizo, Mika (Naomie Harris) and Maslow (Ben Miles) seem to be protected by plot armor.  No matter how many shurikens slice and dice their allies, they seem to always manage to get away, unscathed.

The nice thing about the movie is how they eventually build-up the image of the ninja.  They are urban legend material — they are more than human, at least until some get shot down and some get hit by cars.  You’d think with extraordinary ninja sensory acuity, Raizo would’ve heard the ambush, or maybe during that terrifying slice-and-dice chase on the road, they’d have heard a car screeching nearby and jump out of harm’s way, right?

The film is done in a way where it’s stylized, but not quite?  Raizo’s kusarigama (the chained sickle weapon) chains slow down every so often and leave motion trails, then speeds up ’til it hits the intended target.  Shurikens leave those shiny silver trails to let you know some went this way, some went the other way.  Amputated body parts are neatly cut.  A washer stuffed with body parts jumps about and protests its heavy load, then slowly lets out blood just as the laundromat’s manager looks on in horror.

Also, in terms of the ninja-drama — I don’t know if the film was trying to be ironic, but they threw every trope in the book.  A nemesis that calls him “little brother,” the final fight-to-the-death with the master, flashbacks, a tragic incident involving a love interest, etc.  THOSE parts had me laughing. 

All in all — it works when limbs are a-flying, but it lacks a certain … umami to truly make it even more entertaining. And, well, sorry Rain, but the best ninja-related thing I’ve seen this week is still Turtles Forever. 

3/5

***

Also, the girls in the theater must’ve been seeing a different movie — they covered their eyes when sharp metal objects and CG blood are on-screen, then they collectively swoon when Raizo’s around.  :p

***

A super-special thanks to TV5 / 5MAX Movies and Myk for the invite!  Woohoo!

Ever just wake up one day to find out that one of your dreams-you-thought-you-never-had came true?  I had one of those days — especially when I found out I was dreaming about bridging the gap between my childhood and the present.  In terms of Ninja Turtles, of course.

Like any good kid from the ’90s — Friday night was what kept me trudging through the week.  When it wasn’t Ghostbusters I was looking forward to, (they used to show cartoons for PRIMETIME!  Seriously, kids of the ’00s!) it was that other group of 4 — the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

After the “Turtles” were apparently caught on film trying to stop a robbery, Master Splinter orders the Turtles to investigate.

What they find, instead, are their light-hearted, fun-loving, multi-dimensional counterparts.  While at first, the Turtles find their multi-dimensional counterparts (the ’87 Turtles) to be free-spirited goof-offs, they find that they weren’t the only ones  who don’t belong in that dimension — their multi-dimensional villainous counterparts made the leap as well.

While in this dimension (the 2003 continuity) Krang doesn’t exist, the Shredder does — and this incarnation?  He’s vicious, he’s lethal, he’s … competent.  )

While Shredder repairs his body and merges the Dimension-X technology of the Techno-Drome with Utrom technology, the Turtles and their ’87 Turtles counterparts find a way to get along and set everything right.

First off, the theme for a coupla things of the last few years: The Multiverse.  It works here, and it’s a blast seeing the 1987 designs drawn in high(er)-quality.  What also makes this feature fantastic is the references to each dimension — the 1987 Turtles being just absolute stand-up guys that, seen through kid-eyes would make you see them as the absolute kinds of superheroes you could just hang out and eat a slice of pizza with.

It also makes for comedy gold, such as this clip:

(Fun fact: yes, April O’Neil has forever changed the way I see girls in yellow.  Yellow jumpsuits.  Oh April, you and your yellow jumpsuits and auburn hair.    )

The ’87 Turtles also provide a view of simpler times, when saving girls in yellow jumpsuits seemed like the sort of daily-thing-you-do, and that having a slice of pizza will miraculously provide answers in defeating villains who have high-tech weaponry.

The present Turtles, while a bit more serious, provide a nice contrast to these “new”/haven’t-been-seen-for-a-long-time characters.  Even if Fast Forward WAS aimed for younger audiences, it’s pretty easy to see that the origin of these present turtles are much firmer rooted to their Mirage comics origins.

The few faults to be seen here are the absolute impotence of the ’87 villains compared to their more serious/vicious present counterparts.  (Also, lulz at Mirage-Comics Shredder’s screentime!)  Then again, The Shredder is, was, and most probably needs to be, in any form, an egomaniac.

There’s also this nice bit about Present/Utrom-Shredder survives almost ANYTHING, while a pair of clumsy-henchmen (guess who!) would turn out to be his absolute downfall.

If you were ever a fan of ANY form of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at any point in your life, then this is a must-see.  Also, did I mention?  SEE IT!  Find a way!  Go see it right now!  It brought me this Saturday-morning-cartoon-don’t-care-about-the-world-eat-pizza-watch-Turtles F-U-N.  Cowabunga!

5/5,

only because now that I’m older, I’m finding the TMNT more significant.

***

Points to ponder:

1.  Will Hun stay that way?

2.  Does that mean that ’87 Shredder and Krang now have a flying Technodrome/Death Star?

3.  When will the DVD come out?  Apparently, it has 12 MORE minutes that was cut from the version I saw.

You’ve seen the cartoons.  You’ve played the games.  You’ve seen the trailer.  Yes, the posterior cannons make it into the new Astro Boy movie!

Brilliant (and partly-reckless) dude gets into an “accident.”  He is rebuilt using technology.  His chest now has a blue glowy thing.  He uses his new-found powers to help mankind.  Wait, scrap that.  That sounds like the plot to Iron Man!  Think about it!

Now that we have that out of the way, Astro Boy *is* a pretty lighthearted way of telling the Iron Man story — it may not keep all the original plot points from the manga and various animé retelling, but it still has the spirit.

When Dr. Tenma’s son, Toby “disappeared” (killed off) during a military testing at the Ministry of Science in the floating city of Metro, he wastes no time (literally, like, a scene after Toby dies) to recreate him using technology.  (instead of grieving, he tries to rebuild his boy harder.better.faster.stronger)  Being head of the Ministry of Science does help in these sort of things, I guess — utilizing military tech, and a mysterious blue core — a “purely positive” source of energy, he creates a robot with the memories of his son who has passed away.

At first it was as if Toby had never left — terrorizing the robot butler, acing home-schooled rocket science physics, and adding mischief to philosophy lessons — but Tenma feels different.  Philosophical questions are raised — can a robot with a human’s memories REPLACE that human?  Tenma decides no, and as Toby 2.0 is learning of his abilities, he is discarded, much like a broken robot in metro city.

Which makes for an interesting turn, feeling abandoned, “Toby” finds himself on the surface, along with discarded robots from the past — this is where he meets the Robot Revolutionary Force (Viva La Robolution!), Cora and the kids, and several familiar names from Astro Boy’s history.

Will “Toby” ever find his place?  Will the surface-dwellers (the ones who didn’t make it to Metro City standards) accept him for what he is?  Will he face some Human-Robot discrimination?  And what of the military, and the plans to retrieve the powerful core that allows him to live?

The movie moves at a fast, fast pace.  Clocking in at about 90 minutes, it seems as if we’ve seen Toby’s/Astro Boy’s rise, fall and eventual get-back-up.  The only thing about this pace is, as mentioned above, the disappearance (death) of Toby skipping immediately to the scene where Astro is built.  There’s nothing in-between — do scientists grieve like this?  Given Nicolas Cage’s stoic voice doesn’t help either, and we fail to sympathize with what he wanted to do in the first place.

A big concern after seeing the trailers was Astro Boy’s proportions.  He’s always been known to be short with gigantic rounded head/boots/arms.  He’s still like that.  There’s this fantastic respect for Tezuka’s original designs — there’s no anatomically-correct characters here!  Astro Boy has a giant head, Dr. Elefun’s nose is still … bulbous, and so on.

Astro Boy’s proportions don’t appear obvious when he’s clothed, but he still retains the “tiny dynamo” figure.  He’s been aged, however, to 13.  Which isn’t so bad, really — and I think Freddie Highmore’s voice sort-of cracks every once in a while, suggestive of a boy who’s going through puberty.  Some voice actors to watch out for — Eugene Levy, Kristen Bell, Nathan Lane, Samuel L. Jackson and Bill Nighy.

The characters from the original manga/animé make their way into the new movie, but you may not recognize them — although you may find that the robots from the R.R.F., ZOG and trash can all vie for your choice as the most endearing supporting characters.  :)

There’s tons of fun gags all through the movie, which is really nice — it keeps the movie from getting a bit too dark.  This is a kid’s movie … with tough choices.  If you could, would you rebuild a lost loved one?  If you’re a robot, and you have the memories of a human, are you human … or robot?

Which puts my faith firmly in IMAGI that they’ll treat Gatchaman with the same respect.  Posterior cannons!

4/5!

***

A special thanks to TV5 / 5MAX Movies, Stanley Chi’s Astro Boy hairhat, Dimetapp for the … Dimetapp, Azrael and Myk for the invites, woohoo!

***

Also there was Mike Unson and Stanley Chi of Front Act!  Watch Front Act — Sunday, 6 PM Only on TV5!

“It’s a strange world, Drums.  Did you think for a minute that I wasn’t going to keep it that way?”

-Elijah Snow, Planetary #27

It is a strange world.  Warren Ellis made sure of that — issue 26 (released October 2006) — Planetary has defeated The Four‘s suppression of human technological advancement, they have defeated an alien threat and were well on their way to unravel the mysterious mysteries of the world.

There are probably many, many more Planetary tales to tell, and issue 27′s probably the most fitting: saving Ambrose Chase.

Scenes in the beginning show Elijah Snow getting ever-more-impatient: he’s saved the world, gave it the great technological leap, and now he wonders when he’ll get to save his friend.  If you’re not into quantum physics (like me) then the concepts may confuse you — to sum it up, there are several great scenes where The Drummer discusses that they either save Ambrose, or cause history to cease.  (Schrödinger’s, “Yeah.  An infinite number of dead cats arrive at your doorstep at once.” -The Drummer)

It took several re-reads, but Warren Ellis and his pseudo-science may have possibly crafted the most brilliant use of time travel in any media plausible, and not full of holes and flaws that plague so many stories that try to use it.  There’s also a little reference to the “time loop” from JLA/Planetary – Terra Occulta. 

Jakita grows bored that she can’t hit anything.  She gets a moment here, and even a little something to look forward to.  What follows is Elijah seemingly-knowing full-well of what will happen once they try to save Ambrose, gets it right.

What’s even more amazing than the in-book story is the story of Planetary itself as a series — a comicbook take on the superhero genre, pop culture, literary figures and overall everything.  10 years to get the story told, and here are the original creators, Warren Ellis, John “we-missed-you-doing-interior-artwork!” Cassaday to bring a proper end to the tale.  Fantastic.

It then starts feeling like the closing of a book you thoroughly enjoyed — you know at one point that you’d read it again, but for now, you let the thing settle.

5/5

Christmas wishlist: a hardcover of the complete, complete Planetary.  That’d be amazing.  Or maybe a time loop to take me back to 2003 when I was holding a copy of Planetary/Batman: Night on Earth that I dug from the bargain bin at CCHQ.  (But, if you read this issue, then you must know that (based on Planetary-universe science, and this is a double parenthesis) time loops can only work forwards, backwards into the time when the time machine was first turned on, so, 2003, being a time that I didn’t have an idea about time loops and the possibility of them, it wouldn’t be possible.)

***

Want more Planetary stuff?

Here’s an archive of ALL the past Planetary covers, and here’s the complete publication timeline of Planetary.  Also, try looking for Planetary/Batman: Night on Earth — that one-shot is just good.  Really, really good.

]]> http://www.hrudu.com/planetary-27-review/feed/ 0 http://www.hrudu.com/battle-for-terra-review/ http://www.hrudu.com/battle-for-terra-review/#comments Sun, 25 Oct 2009 11:36:49 +0000 paolo. http://www.hrudu.com/?p=2091

Ever since District 9, extra-terrestrial land ownership has been on my mind.  In Battle for Terra, (more or less) some of the same questions pop up: who gets to stay, and who gets to say who stays?

When …

Humans are bastards, enthey?

If you’ve seen the trailer for District 9, then you probably already know what the movie’s about.  Or at least that’s what Neill Blomkamp and Peter Jackson want you to think.

Yes, it’s about aliens living in slum conditions.  Yes, there’s going to be friction.  Yes, it already happened.  (In how the movie’s told.)  The storytelling devices, namely: the fake documentary, the tv reports, the surveillance cam videos and the “amateur” handycam effect tell a cautionary tale: what happend to MNU worker Wilkus van de Mewre. (ably played by Sharlto Copley)  What exactly happened, I won’t tell you, as you will soon find out for yourself once you see it.

The film’s theme is a strange hybrid of clashing cultural differences, alien ass-kicking, bad-ass mech film … with pig.  Will tolerance win over prejudice and discrimination?  What sets off the friction?  Were the aliens really that daft, as to not get ideas of taking over more than District 9 with their weapons and technology?  Also, hearing “Nigerian” and “scam” in one sentence was really, really funny.

I was thoroughly impressed with the film’s take on discrimination.  It goes like this: if, say, alien plant-life suddenly appeared in your garden, will you remove it before it affects the other plants, or will you let it flourish?  It accurately mirrors real-world events, to a certain degree — the aliens, being the oppressed minority in this tale — so, are humans bastards for forcing the aliens out?

The action seen in the trailers doesn’t happen ’til later on in the film, (and that interrogation scene from the trailer doesn’t quite make it, :p ) but when you see the machine-gun-loaded,-missile-armed,-built-in-lightning-gun mech, you will think of Mechwarrior quite fondly and will wish to have a chance to suit-up in one.

The movie’s pacing is wrong for people who lack sleep — as I was when I saw it.  I was starting to zone out during the documentary parts — with its sense of “it already happened, and they’re still there, so prolly nothing that big’s at stake.”  What jolted me awake was the lightning gun.  While it seamlessly transitions from documentary, surveillance, handycam view — we often wonder who’s taking the video, even if he’s ran off.  (Spoiler?  Not really)

The big surprise for me was finding out that Neill Blomkamp was a YouTube sensation (I wasn’t reading up on District 9) and that his short, Alive in Joburg was actually the basis for District 9. (I would suggest you see District 9 before watching the short.)  Also, the photo-realistic effects, the aliens, the movie?  It was done with a Peter-Jackson-financed $30 million.  Just $30 million!

See it!  If only for the surprising depth of oppression/parallelisms.  And the great effects.  And the mech, with a pig.

4/5

P.S.

Let’s see: a movie with relatively unknown stars, a slum setting, involvement from a big-name director and warm recognition from people who’ve seen it.  It’s starting to look like this year’s surprise Slumdog-sleeper hit.